Relatie
Every relationship is unique. It is a vulnerable fabric you create together. Difficulties can ruin it. But they can also be opportunities to make the relationship stronger; if you are both willing to put an effort on it. I can assist you in that proces. I alternate working with you as a couple and in individual sessions.
A crisis in your relationship can be the beginning of a personal transformation and a stronger and more loving relationship. That takes the willingness to investigate your own needs and the needs of your partner.
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I like to coach you both in being able to listen to each other and see each other. Looking at yourself and ask yourself: "What can I do to make our relationship better?" Instead of just blaming your partner for what he or she does wrong.
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It is not my task to make you stay together no matter what. Sometimes it can be better to seperate. But if you choose to leave each other, it is important how you do that. Especially when you have children together. Years of grudges and conflict is bad for everybody.
It is a great gift for your children and for yourself if you can treat each other with respect after a seperation. I can also coach you in that proces of saying goodbye with respect.
It gets more and more difficult to listen to each other.
We fight more often
Have we grown apart?
If this sounds familiar, maybe I can help you.
We only have eyes for the children and our work.
I don't know if we can stay together.
The irritations have become more frequent then our good moments together.
We don't trust each other anymore.
This is how I work:
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Every topic can be adressed
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I listen to your story and the underlying feelings and needs, without taking sides
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I help you both to speak your truth and become more aware of your own part in the relationship.
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We focus on what exactly goes wrong between you in the here and now. Then it will get clear how to improve things..
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What is the context? Are there any choices that have to be made?
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I can be confronting if necesarry. And I will share with you what strikes me as important.
Individual sessions
I alternate couple sessions and individual sessions. In the individual sessions we look at your behavioral patterns and possible traumatic experiences that created your expectations in the relationship.
Essential Coaching
Helps you to feel more in contact with yourself and your essence. From there you can look at your relationship more clearly and you wil see other possibilities.
Restorative Circles
I assist you in really listening to each other, so that you both feel heard. In this I work with techniques of restorative circles.
Non Violent Communication
Non Violent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg is a great help in maintaining a loving relationship. Instead of attacking and blaming your partner, you learn to express your own inner needs and triggers. When you become aware what it is you really need, you can make a request instead of blaming each other. That can be the start of a good conversation again.
The tools, expertise and experience of Wendela, in combination with the deep caring attitude and the calm and peaceful disposition she carries, were for me, the lighthouse I needed to find my way out of the storm and find my way home again.
If you feel lost or broken, if you need a helping hand to get out of a personal storm in order to be able to think clearly and find your way back, if you need to learn how to communicate in a way you can be heard, I highly recommend Wendela. You won’t regret it!
I will forever be thankful to have done so!
Jessie, Agile coach